WASHINGTON DC. The Trump Administration announced today that it will use magnetic letters on all office doors, saving time during a period of rapid transition, and creating a boom market for key letters. “Another job creation master stroke,” cooed Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
Departing employees are rumored to be taking their letters with them, while current staff members are hoarding letters in case of marriage or the need for an identity change. The resulting shortage is already taking its toll on morale. “After Scaramucci, We’re short on C’s,” said a source, explaining why John Kelly’s door says Hief of Staff.
Kelly tried to put a halt to the nonsense by declaring that all new hires would have short names, “Preferably something like Adams, or Ng,” growled the former general. Despite the arrival of a new no-nonsense Chief, practical jokes continue in the fun-loving White House. “Someone switched around Mike Pence’s letters to spell ‘Me Pee Cink’,” said a source.