WASHINGTON DC. Veterans of WWII apologized today for defeating the Germans in WWII. “We realize now that there were many good Nazis, and that shooting them, and just generally being mean to them, was wrong,” said a contrite vet.
With alt left vets being asked for seed funding, the Trump Administration is moving ahead with plans to launch a GoFundMe campaign to replace statues of confederate war heroes with statues of other personages prominent in our history, leaders such as Adolf Hitler, Vladimir Lenin, and the Coyote, of Roadrunner cartoon fame. “Our beautiful parks will once again be graced with elegant reminders of our past,” tweeted Donald Trump.
In related news, Vice President Mike Pence is under investigation for first erecting, then toppling, his own statue. Pence, who has been trying find a way to save his career, allegedly believed that toppling his statue would raise his visibility and possibly lead to his firing.
Meanwhile, the termination of presidential councils for manufacturing, the resignation of all members of the arts advisory council, and the firing of Steve Bannon has created a glut of chairs in the White House. “We’re concerned that people will trip over them, or strain a muscle moving them out of the way,” said Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway. “The chairs will be left on the curb by the White House along with other detritus, like ethical standards, and that dusty old thing, rule of law.”