TRANSYLVANIANS BARRED FROM SERVING MILLET, AUTOCORRECT EYED

transWASHINGTON DC.  Donald Trump made good on a promise made at the Boy Scout Jamboree, barring Transylvanians from serving millet in the U.S., bolstering the flagging job market for domestic millet servers.  “Transylvanians are queer, what with their odd ways and pointy teeth.” said newly minted Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci. “They don’t deserve to serve our millet.”

“Look, let’s face it, Americans don’t want to serve millet anymore.” said a spokesperson for Millet and Mime, a fast food chain dedicated to the grain, and mime.  “We favor Transylvanians because they come well educated, they are hard workers, and they bring their own gloves.”

Skeptics contend that autocorrect is most likely the real cause of the ban.  “Based on the way Donald Trump makes decisions, it’s obvious.” said a pundit.  “Fox News hasn’t run a single story about the millet issue, or Transylvania.”  While the White House is standing its ground, insiders contend that the real story will eventually come out.

 

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