WASHINGTON DC. Donald Trump today pardoned the The Joker, the animated version of a crime figure, and Vice President Mike Pence, the unanimated version of a human being. Notably, the President did not pardon Sean Spicer, who faces duping charges. “Ironic, no?” chuckled new Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
Political pundits applaud the Pence pardoning. “This move demonstrates the breadth of Trump’s pardoning power, from the animated to the unanimated.” said an expert. “Further, by pardoning Pence, someone who has done nothing wrong except to try to collude by mistake with the Prussians, Trump establishes that he can pardon anyone, even himself.”
Meanwhile, former Press Secretary Sean Spicer spent the day fending off charges of duping, the reason for his surprise resignation. “I have never knowingly duped” said Spicer. Rumors of duping have plagued the Trump White House. “We use a Russian lab to test for duping.” clarified Huckabee Sanders. “Or maybe we don’t. Not sure. What lab?”
Democrats immediately denounced the move. “This is clear discrimination against the unanimated.” said a Democratic leader. “We’re particularly concerned with the needs of unanimated cross-dressing men, who have to compete with their animated counterparts for attention. Great shoes only get you so far.”