WASHINGTON DC. An attendee at the meeting between Russians and Donald Trump Jr. last summer is likely the same person who took Anne Coulter’s seat on a Delta Airlines flight yesterday. “Given Coulter’s description that the person was smooth, shiny, and appeared to be made of wood, we believe that there may be a connection.” said a source close to the investigation. “We’re examining paint residue now.”
“I knew she was an immigrant.” said Coulter. “”And from the looks of her, a liberal.” Delta Airlines confirmed that they sold eight tickets to the woman for single seat, fueling speculation that she may be the Russian nesting doll that attended the Trump Jr’s meeting.
Coulter was outraged that a woman with no arms or legs would need an aisle seat, pregnant or not. “She would have been perfectly happy in the window, or even the center. No need for armrests.” tweeted Coulter.
“An eight-person nesting doll means fifteen people were at the meeting.” said an outraged spokesperson for the Trump organization. “We’ll be adding a surcharge to the room rental.”
The Trump Administration has been dogged by allegations of chicanery between officials and Russian dolls from the start. An armless love doll of Russian origin was found in a D.C. dumpster last winter, and the FBI has had a Russian hacker, part man, part puppet, under surveillance for months. “At first, we believed that Mike Pence might also be a doll, as he stood perfectly still for months.” said an FBI spokesperson. “But given his recent lies about the Trumpcare bill, we can only conclude that he is at least part human.”