KIM JONG-UN LOSES LIST OF DEMANDS; CAN’T RECALL WHAT COUNTRY WANTS

kim.pngPYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA.  Following a significant military advance, the launch of an ICBM nearly capable of reaching the U.S., North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un admitted today that he has misplaced his list of demands, and is not altogether sure why he keeps launching missiles. “I swear it was in my grey pants.” said the rogue leader.

“After the missile launch, we were all cheering, and someone yelled, ‘And what do we want?’ and an awkward silence fell over room.” said an anonymous source.  While Kim checked all his pockets for the list, his wife insisted she had seen it on the kitchen counter the night before.  “He’s always losing his glasses too.” his wife said to the crowd, which, reveling in the lighthearted banter, and sure that they were about to die, fled in terror.

Experts say that the public admission and the gentle bickering are part of a new public relations effort to humanize the leader.  “We want to take off a few of the rough edges.” said a p.r. executive.  North Korea’s reputation took a whack recently when it was unable to round up $300 to cover a ransomware hack, and had to be put up for sale on eBay.  “Fortunately, we got the ATM to work after all.” said the pr exec.

 

 

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