cosmos.pngMOUNTAINVIEW, CA.  In a milestone for human history, SETI, an organization dedicated to the search for intelligent life in the universe, announced today their first interaction with an extraterrestrial life force.  “The being said, ‘Stop with all the tweets already.'”

Donald Trump immediately took credit for the historic encounter. “Those schmucks from NASA spent trillions and tried for years. Trump, he tries, and now you can’t shut ’em up.  Must be chicks.  Green.  Probably hot.” tweeted Trump, apparently heedless of the irony.

In further support of SETI’s claim, a surprised Twitter customer service agent is said to have taken a call from an alien, who requested help with their unsubscribe link.  The alien stuck around for the short survey after the call. “They complained about the agent’s accent.” said a management spokesperson.

After the discovery of an earth-like system of planets last year momentarily distracted attention from the president, the Trump administration sent KellyAnn Conway on a search there for fraudulent voters.  No alien life was observed, but Conway did rescue a busload of grandmothers who got lost their on the way to a slots day in Atlantic City.  “You think anyone would write? Call?”  said a grandma. “Not a word.”


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