WASHINGTON DC. In a break with convention, sources confirm that on advice from the Trump administration, disgraced NSA Director Michael Flynn plans to plead the Sixth when testifying before Congress. “Things got a little confused up here.” said a White House source. “All the math people are focused on denying healthcare to the poor, the elderly and the young.”
In an unexpected twist, though, the threat to plead the Sixth has thrown Congress into chaos, turning the normally efficient, smooth-running body into a state of mass of confusion and finger pointing.
“He’s going nuclear.” said a distraught Senator Lindsey Graham, referring to the “nuclear option” used earlier this year by the Senate to ensure the confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch. The coal industry vigorously protested the move claiming that the coal option would have been equally as effective, and cheaper.
Tripling down on the potential to meddle with the meddling hearings, thereby neutralizing them, Flynn is said to be considering also pleading the 3rd and 18th amendments. “It could take years to sort this all out.” said Graham.
Historians note that Congress has previously been subjected to amendment related malarkey . During prohibition, leaders of the Temperance Movement tried to outlaw pleading the Fifth, suggesting instead that witnesses try using an alcohol free malted beverage, or perhaps sparkling water, to protect themselves from self incrimination.
Defense Intelligence Agency