RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA. At the behest of the President, the singers Von Trump kicked off their Middle East “Smell The Love“ tour today to promote their recent album, a collection of in-your-face tunes for a depressed world. Mindful of how U.S. support for autocratic rulers in Iran and Iraq backfired, the President is now only supporting fun-loving autocratic rulers. “Saudi Arabia seemed like a natural choice.” chirped Donald Von Trump.
Saudi Arabia, anxious to put the blemish of being home to most of the 9/11 terrorists behind them, rolled out the red carpet for the noisome musical clan. In honor of the visit, stonings have been postponed, and women will be able to stand upright for a full two hours each day.
The album, originally targeted at depressed Democrats, features catchy tunes and spry lyrics like, “The world seems on fire, when you’re always losing,” and “Dough, from fear, unbridled fear.”
In related entertainment news, Netflix announced a new project designed to heal a wounded nation, “Orange is the New Barack“. In the pilot episode, Donald Trump wakes up in his White House bed only to find himself trapped inside the body of Barack Obama. Hijinks ensue.