WASHINGTON DC. Sean Spicer joins a growing list of Trump administration figures cashing in with their own retail line. Reporters have long marveled at the Press Secretary’s ability to instantly conjure up examples of old misdeeds to justify the current administration’s misdeeds. Now the secret is out: A specially modified pair of rabbit-ears antenna.
Spicer put the tool through its paces like today, using it to blame Obama for the Trump team’s decision to hire the Michael Flynn as National Security Advisor. “It was like he was watching a rerun.” commented a reporter on Spicer’s detailed account of events inside the Obama White House.
“It took a while to work out the kinks.” said Spicer in an infomercial, “But it’s working great now.” Spicer attributes a bug in the antenna’s software for his description of Nazi “Holocaust Centers.” Spicer says that he thought he had tuned into the History Channel’s WWII coverage, but mistakenly channeled a ’40’s propaganda piece depicting a lighthearted romp through Nazi Germany. “Took a lot of flak for that one, but it was worth it.” said Spicer.
Sales of the new device are reportedly brisk, particularly among ardent Trump supporters who specialize in justifying ethical violations, lies, and broken promises by citing how they were hurt by the actions of former administrations. For an extra $4.99, users can capture screen shots and overlay witticisms and narrative text. “Even has spellcheck!” shilled KellyAnne Conway.