WASHINGTON DC. Mindful of pitfalls that led to the legislative collapse of their Obamacare reform initiative, the Trump Administration has vowed to make different, even bigger mistakes pushing through their tax reform plan. “With healthcare, we went with Paul Ryan’s half-baked plan.” said Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, “This time we’re going with our own.”
“It’s hard work to fail big twice when you have a majority in both houses.” commented a political pundit, “But when it comes to epic mismanagement, this administration is poised to make history.” To top their healthcare failure, the Trump team has doubled down on inexperience, disengagement from the legislative process, and their ace in the hole, abandonment of many of their core promises to their base. “They love us no matter what we do to them.” said a frustrated KellyAnne Conway. “But we’re going for the jugular this time.”
Democrats, meanwhile, scoffed at this history-making effort. “We’re determined to stop the administration from succeeding to fail.” said House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. To counter potential Democratic support, sources inside the Administration say that they are prepared to unveil Donald Trump’s taxes, proving that he will benefit enormously from his proposed reform. “We’re going rub enriching the family by $1 billion in 100 days in their faces!” said Conway. “Dastardly.” said Pelosi.