WASHINGTON DC. In a hastily convened press conference, President Donald Trump said today that the continued abuse of munchkins will not stand. Trump became outraged last night after chancing upon highlights from the film The Wizard of Oz during a Fox News special on illegal emigration from Kansas. “Syria is just the start.” said an emotional President, “If my ratings go up, there’s no stopping me. ” In fact, overnight polls show a majority of Americans now agree with the statement, ‘We knew all along he was a two-faced, lying, reckless, reactive egomaniac’, a significant uptick.
Meanwhile, millions of liberals suffered mental breakdowns after finding themselves in agreement with something the President did, and cursing Obama’s passivity. “I felt woozy, then I just went down.” said Meryl Streep. Her symptoms were echoed by Mr. Ed, the talking horse of TV sitcom fame, now, with Streep, a Democratic front-runner.
Supporters of the president harshly criticized skeptics of Trump’s compassion. “I don’t know how it happened, but he found his heart.” cooed a CNN anchor. Inside sources report that, two nights ago, the President stayed up late watching the cartoon favorite, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!, during which the hero’s heart grows three times. “Just saying.” said the source.
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