WASHINGTON DC. President Trump today unveiled a photo rendering of his shield against a possible North Korean nuclear attack, a 2000 mile high, 20 foot wide wile wall. The wall will be stored along the Mexican border and then tipped on its end to block incoming missiles. “Both sides of the wall are able to withstand nuclear attack,” said Trump, “in case the wall spins around while being tipped up.”
Engineers scoffed at the waste of public monies. “It’s only 62 miles from the surface of the earth to outer space,” said a reputed engineer, “Even adding five miles for potential sinkage, Trump’s wall is 1933 miles longer than necessary.”
Meanwhile, intercepted messages from inside North Korea shows that the secretive government there was shocked by the wall. “Apparently they expected something made of straw to start, or perhaps sticks,” said an anonymous CIA official, “but no one expected something as bold as brick right from the start.”
Critics in Congress point out that during the time that the wall is tipped up, tens of millions of Mexicans will be free to walk across the border. “Sure some will be crushed when the wall is tipped back down,” said one Congressman, “but only a small percentage, and then only the really slow ones.” Trump countered that he is also building a 2000 mile mall along the border, and that most Mexicans will never make it out of the parking lot on their side as it will be run by the TSA.