WASHINGTON DC. Based on a lead from Senior Trump Advisor KellyAnne Conway, the FBI announced an inquiry into her claim that the Obamas used a modified Easy-Bake Oven to keep tabs their daughters as well as Vice-President Joe Biden. “Biden had a special weakness for anything baked with a light-bulb,” said an agent close to the case, “especially halibut.”
Conway reportedly found the oven in a closet, and discovered the wiretap capability when Donald Trump complained that he heard her voice coming from of a small ornamental plant in the Oval Office. Since Conway wasn’t in the office at the time, both concluded that the oven was a listening device.
Reached for comment, Joe Biden was incredulous. “Obama never listened to me,” said Biden, “He didn’t even remember my name, kept calling me Phil.” Pressed, Biden did recall one time that the president was able to finish his sentences for him. “He kept giggling,” recalled Biden.
President Obama declined to be interviewed, but a spokesperson said that Obama “always held Bill Biden in high regard.” As evidence, The spokesperson recounted a time the White House offered to swap a Jimmy Carter hand-puppet and Biden for Obama to fix a wax museum mix-up. “If that isn’t respect, what is?” said the spokesperson.