ATLANTA, GA. A GoPro clip of Democratic Party leadership driving the party off a cliff after the DNC winter meeting was leaked to the press this afternoon. “Unfortunately, there were survivors,” commented a spokesperson for Bernie Sanders.
Details remain sketchy, but apparently newly elected DNC chair Tom Perez fell asleep at the wheel listening to Hillary-on-Tape policy debates. “The tape stopped during a discussion of whether earwax removal should be covered by Obamacare,” said a policeman on the scene, “Riveting stuff.”
Despite winning the popular vote, Democrats remain confounded at their loss to Donald Trump. Republicans counter that in a nationwide recount that eliminated all illegal voters, Trump actually won the election, 6 to 1. “Once they know the truth, the people will quickly tire of a president who tries to keep his promises to his highly passionate, motivated base,” intoned a noted commentator.
The clip also is evidence that leaks plague both parties. White House press secretary Sean Spicer conducted a surprise inspection of staff member phones today, hoping to find the source of leaks and to discover who is running up data overage charges by downloading so many videos. “We tried leak-sniffing dogs,” growled Spicer, “but they were ruining the carpets.”