5440390625_feab8a9520_bWASHINGTON DC.  Donald Trump today named a highly experienced expert to ensure that people use the right restrooms, himself.  “No one knows more than I do about this sort of thing, not the generals, no one.” tweeted Trump.  Trump is displaying the same personal initiative that allowed him to thwart a terror plot in Sweden, freeing ABBA.

“Trump is finally taking the job seriously, and acting with the sort of maturity and sobriety we have come to expect from our Chief Executives,” commented a relieved Nancy Pelosi.  Trump’s major appointments have been criticized for their lack of experience, but this appointment met with bipartisan approval. “This is one area on which we all can agree,” said Paul Ryan, “The man is not shy about ensuring that the right parts are there.”

How exactly to police bathroom use has been debated widely in Congress, sidelining debate over less important issues like healthcare, the environment, and moving the Oval Office to a Russian spy ship.  Details remain sketchy, but leaked documents show that Trump will concentrate on ensuring that only women use women’s facilities.

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Photo Credit
Gage Skidmore

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