SALZBURG, AUSTRIA. The lovable, rascally Von Trump Family Singers debuted an album today for depressed Democrats, The Sound of Prozac. The album, featuring catchy tunes and spry lyrics like, “The world seems on fire, when you’re always losing,” and “Dough, from fear, unbridled fear,” the album is racing up the charts here and in the U.S.
After ignoring the real pain of millions of working-class Americans for years, invalidating their concerns, mocking their tastes, and generally acting like intellectualized weenies, the Democrats cried foul when their disliked and distrusted candidate, who ran a feckless, boring, defensive campaign, lost the presidency this fall.
With Congressional Democratic leaders trying to rally a dispirited populace under the catchy slogan, “We’re Sad, We’re Mad, and Donald Trump is a Meanie-Pants,” the Von Trumps hope to cash in on the zeitgeist of the times with their new release. “My dress and bag are part of the new Ivanka-with-a-V Travel Collection,” cheered Ivanka Von Trump, dismissing suspicions of any relationship to the new president’s daughter.
Reached for comment in the Oval Office, securely hosted on board a Russian spy ship, Vice-President Mike Pence said he was unaware of the album’s release and of any evidence connecting the White House to the Putin Love Doll discovered yesterday in a DC dumpster.