MIAMI, FL. Hundreds of dolls and Senator Elizabeth Warren (left) were swept up in wave of arrests designed to clear America’s cities of hard-working, tax-paying, family-oriented deviants. “They may look innocent, but beneath the surface they are cold, hard, and heartless,” sneered Sean Spicer, White House press secretary.
The arrests were part of a nationwide sweep that included 768 immigrants from San Francisco. The arrest freed up six apartments in that housing-crunched city. “Silver lining,” sighed a software exec.
“These dolls are taking jobs from hard-working Americans,” continued Spicer. The Trump administration has launched a job training program where coal miners are trained to sit very very still. “We give them special eyedrops to control blinking,” explained Spicer. Coal miners are served by several retraining programs, including developing the ability to cut short pieces of red string.
The arrest of Senator Warren leaves the Democratic party, already rudderless and essentially meaningless, without its most vocal spokesperson. Warren was recently censured from speaking in the Senate to help stop the accumulation of greenhouse gasses, a key component of global warming.
Arrests are expected to continue and the mood in the country remains tense.
American Girl/NY Times