New York, NY. Pretty much everyone told everyone else to shut the fuck up today.
- Citing newly found concerns for the effect of carbon monoxide on the environment, the Republican-led Senate told Senator Liz Warren (D-MA) to shut the fuck up.
- Donald Trump, flashing his trademark concern for the struggling workingman, told Nordstrom to shut the fuck up. “I think everyone can relate to the sorrow mega-millionaire daughters-of-presidents hoping to cash in while the getting’s good experience when Nordstrom’s drops your fashion line.”
- Soon-to-be Supreme Court Justices got into the act. Nominee Neil Gorusch, disappointed that his new boss wants undermine the entire justice system in the U.S, told Trump to shut the fuck up.
In other news, Iran’s leader told Trump to shut the fuck up, Steve Bannon told the media to shut the fuck up, Tom Brady told the NFL to shut the fuck up, Melania Trump told the Daily Mail to shut the fuck up, and Sean Spicer told John McCain to shut the fuck up.
“Everyone’s talking, but no one is listening,” commented the beloved Mr. Rogers from beyond the grave, and was promptly told to kindly shut the fuck up.