Pearly Gates, Heaven. God is pleased that the Trump administration will upend the Johnson Amendment, allowing religious leaders to take political stands without threatening their tax exempt status. “I’ve been on the sidelines watching all this crap,” said God, “Now I can get my hands dirty.”
Both political parties sought immediately to curry God’s favor. A call between Trump and God ended poorly after God refused his request to smite Arnold Schwarzenegger. Democrats fared no better, with God calling their pleas to make Trump stop calling them weenies, “pathetic.”
“I’m tired of all the whining from the left and of the triumphant ignorance from the right,” said God, “Enough already!” God is readying a new set of plagues that will be unleashed once the amendment is overturned. The first plague is rumored to give Mexicans extraordinary leaping ability. “And I’m just warming up!,” laughed God, mischievously.