TRUMP KEEPS PROMISES, SHATTERING TRADITION, IRRITATING BOWELS

pinkiPresident Trump today continued to keep the promises he made to his voters, ending a 96-year tradition, and upsetting many stomachs. The last president to keep his promise was Warren G. Harding, who in 1921 promised a return to normalcy, by which he meant worldwide depression and war.  “What sort of President keeps their promises?” whined Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, “We never saw it coming.”

While running for President, Trump promised to build a border wall, ban Muslim immigration, which he later modified to banning immigration from Muslim-dominated countries, reduce government regulation, bring manufacturing jobs back to the U.S., and to nominate a conservative Supreme Court Justice.  “If he hadn’t promised the immigration ban, we would have been much better prepared,” lamented Homeland Security John F. Kelly.

The mainstream news media continues to be stunned at every turn as well.  “Knowing exactly what is going to happen has tied my stomach in knots.  Who knows what’s next?” complained top news execs, without apparent irony. Democratic leaders, who are fighting Trump by not showing up to things, were unavailable for comment.

 

Photo Credit
Kayla

 

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