Washington DC, January 20, 2017.  Donald Trump gave a coherent inaugural address, raising suspicions of Russian hacking.  “He definitely was compromised,” said house minority leader Nancy Pelosi, “Words had more than one syllable, a telltale sign.”

Fears of hacking were heightened by news that Trump left his phone in his limo. “From what we can tell, someone found the phone, used a sophisticated phone-to-speech algorithm to make the speech, and played one round, possibly two, of Angry Birds.”

Liberals, forecasted to have been out by the hundreds of thousands to protest, watched in disbelief from home.  “I am terribly upset, we are about to lose all our rights and everything I value to a would-be dictator,” said a miffed Democrat, “but there was a slight drizzle so I decided to sit this one out.”

“Utter nonsense,” said Vladimir Putin, “Donnychik and I were talking last night, and he left the speech just as I wrote it.”

Photo Credit
Phil Roeder