Palmetto, FL. January 15, 2017. The 146 year run of The Ringling Brother Barnum and Bailey Circus came to an end today. “As a circus, there’s just no competing with Congress,” said a company spokesperson, “The final straw was when the administration hired away all our clowns. How can you compete with a Cabinet position?”
The closure was met with mixed reactions. While PETA celebrated, the loss of the circus will cost the U.S. nearly four hundred jobs. “Most of the jugglers got jobs with the SEC, the bearded woman landed a role as a spokesperson for the transgender community, but the rest, out of luck.”
The Trump administration was quick to counter that many more jobs have been creating by reforming Obamacare to underwrite tanning salons and better lighting for the poor. Further, Trump took the job challenge to the drug industry, threatening a tariff on meth manufactured in Mexico. “We have tremendous capacity to produce meth, and these drug makers are putting their labs in Mexico. Sad!”, tweeted Trump.