Washington DC, January 14, 2017. In an unexpected twist, the cost of the surgical gutting of Obamacare by Congress is covered by Obamacare. “Gutting is a covered condition,” confirmed a representative of the insurance industry, “this will save taxpayers millions.”
The savings will be used to finance recently announced plans by Congress to immediately repeal and replace the law. “Actually, we’re going to repeal, search and replace,” said Paul Ryan, house majority leader. Using search-and-replace, Congress inserted the word “not” in front of the word “covered” throughout the landmark legislation. “This strategy maintains insurance for 20 million subscribers while reducing the cost of the program to zero.”
“They haven’t learned a thing,” commented the White House, “after all the problems with autocorrect, relying on search-and-replace is a fool’s game.” An evaluation of a leaked version of the amended law shows flaws in the strategy: Golf related injuries and health issues tied to flying in private jets remain covered. Reached for comment, KellyAnn Conway decried the situation, “Once again, the irresponsible mainstream press gets it all wrong. Polo and sailing related injuries remain covered as well.”
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Photo Credit
Keoni Cabral
