Photo: National Law Journal
New York, New York, December 28, 2016. Quieting critics, Donald Trump has committed to sewing locally manufactured “Made in USA” labels into all his clothing, creating jobs and solving a thorny political problem. “This shows when Democrats push hard, we get results,” clucked NY Senator Chuck Schumer, whose state is home to the label plant.
Further, in response to a NY Times report today about his daughter’s clothes line, Trump tweeted that he had grounded Ivanka, and taken away her cell phone. Due to an autocorrect problem, the tweet actually said, “Ivanka has been bound, gagged, and sterilized” before it was quietly edited by Mike Pence. Trump has been plagued by autocorrect changing his tweets, including an unfortunate incident that cost millions of Mexicans their lives.
In related Mike Pence news, Russia today admitted that its Olympic doping program had spread beyond sports: Banned substances were used to thicken Pence’s hair. “That substance is only banned in oral form, we used a gel,” said a Pence spokesperson. The Clinton campaign is now citing Pence’s hair as a decisive factor in her loss.