Los Angeles, CA. December 27, 2016. A celebrity rivalry played out in dueling twitter hoaxes yesterday when a Brittney Spears death hoax overshadowed a hoax that the singer Captain – of Captain and Tennille – had also died. “Who?” said Britney, of the apparently one-sided feud.
Further investigation showed that Captain may have tweeted about his own death, hoping to jumpstart a comeback by piggybacking on the news of the suspicious death of superstar George Michael. “It’s been like this for years,” said Captain, “Britney, Britney, Britney.”
The Captain experienced a mild comeback this spring after being dumped by Tennille, who said the couple only married, “because so many people thought we were married anyway, and our accountant said it would help with taxes.” The marriage lasted 39 years.
Captain may have been trying to wangle an invite to perform at the Trump inauguration. Captain and Tennille’s career skyrocketed after performing Muskrat Love — ranked the fifth worst song of the 70’s by the Rolling Stone magazine — in front of President Gerald Ford and Queen Elizabeth. “I thought, here’s another chance to play for a president who might actually give a muskrat a little lovin’!”, said Captain, without irony.