Temecula, CA. December 25, 2016. A Native American couple is being questioned tonight after allegedly providing smallpox infected blankets to guests in retribution for the deadly tricks played on their ancestors by Spanish and Anglo settlers. “First it was blankets, then small throw pillows,” said one of the suspects, “back then, you never felt safe.”
Smallpox was thought to be eradicated, but apparently the couple was able to source the virus on a leading shopping site, “Free shipping,” one of the suspects was overhead saying while being led away.
“Well, we already had our injections, so no harm no foul” said Bill Stubbins, victim. “Still, even though these people have suffered so much, we had to take their rating down a star.” An spokesperson for the teepee rental site confirmed that the company has a strict policy against hosts offering disease-ridden materials based solely on race. “We will not tolerate inequality,” said the company.