Photo: Shawn Lea

Washington DC.  December 24, 2016.  Donald Trump named Santa Claus as head of the Environmental Protection Agency today.  In a related note, doubling down on his relationship with the Chinese-Americans since saving their restaurant industry, Trump named General Tso to his security team.

Trump is not the first president to name a fictional character to the cabinet.  Woodrow Wilson appointed Dr. Dolittle to Surgeon General before realizing that Dolittle wasn’t a real human being.

Trump is breaking new ground though, naming a sauce to a high level government position. “General Tso is not a sauce, it’s preparation type,” chaffed Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway, “Once again the liberal media twists the story, tarring Chinese-American restaurant owners in the process.”

Regarding the appointment of Santa, Trump said, “People who believe in Santa don’t believe in climate change, while people who don’t believe in Santa think climate change is real.  I think we know where real American stand on this one.”