Washington DC, December 16. Sensing an opening in Donald Trump’s recent, albeit mild, rejection of White Supremacists, Democrats today announced their new “White Hate” strategy. “We were the original party of hate,” said Vice-President Joe Biden today, “and have let those voters down. No more, no more.”
Drawing on their post Civil War legacy, Biden is confident that Democrats can regain the love of haters and retain the loyalty of their tree-hugger base. “We’re replacing wooden crosses with LED-covered, environmentally safe crosses that will have the same impact without the carbon footprint.”
Republicans are scrambling to ensure the world that they are the true party of hate, pointing to their vote suppression tactics, and promising to find and execute the seven legitimate black Trump voters from the recent election. “Game on,” said Donald Trump.